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Hey Esther,

How’s your church camp? I hope it was fun, yeah? Church. Religion. Faith. You know, I find it quite amazing really, how within this 4 months of knowing you, we’ve managed to talk quite a lot on faith. Haha, I guess in a way, it was you interrogating me somewhat, although I’m sure you got my point of view on things. Frankly speaking, I’m quite (very) impressed by how articulate you are. Haha. You’re certainly a literary genius. Along with what I garner quite a comprehensive belief and understanding in your relationship with God.

Haha, enough of praising your ass off. Remember that time when we talked about life-after-death? Well, I told you that I didn’t believe in the after-life; that quite simply, what you do in life will not represent what you receive after it. That karma doesn’t exist. That the concepts of heaven and hell to segregate believers from those who don’t do not exist.

So does it mean that Man can be irressponsible and yet face no repercussions for their actions? Well, not at all. Ultimately, one’s actions will affect another in one way or another. And so it goes that doing bad on one person, or being witnessed by another, will more-than-likely lead to repercussions of one form or another. Isn’t that, well, a very straight-forward way of thinking? I guess the difference is that there’s no deterrent factor overall, no God-fearing factor which makes a decision of sin or not an easy one.

But I guess I never told you this — I really hope somewhat, that I will simply find God. That there’s a higher being(s) taking care of us mere mortals, guiding us towards Nirvana and forgiving us for all our misconducts. Haha, but why not? Man are weak creatures, and it is only natural to lean on a pillar of support at moments of weakness, to know that there’s a fail-safe fallback in times of despair. I guess right now, I do feel weak.

Over the past few days, I’ve come to appreciate the life of Lena Cheo. A life full of colour, celebrated by friends and family. A life tragically ended, yet you cannot say that she had not lived a life worth living. The wake/funeral was as sweet as one can imagine a sweet one to be — one where even though all was grieving, there was no lack of sweet smiles as one by one, friends and family remembered all the little things which makes Lena Cheo such a well-loved lady. We laughed when we saw all the sweet signs — the plane that flew you back was the one that just flew President SR Nathan over; the stopover from Vancouver to Singapore was Korea — your favourite place; the casket vehicle that brought you to the Crematorium was last used to transport President Wee Kim Wee.

And in this time of weakness, I only hope that my dear cousin, for having lived such a full life, does lead a life after death, for surely such a life will be rewarded greatly. But like I told you dear Esther — I will never know, eh? Until life after death begins for me.

Regards,