National Service
Posted 4/10/07 0:04 by fang under Commentary.
The darndest things happen in NS. I mean, how else can you explain how I became an ‘A’-Level driver, missing out on being a medic because I was too light to possibly carry a field pack with a stretcher. Or why every other person in my batch of driver graduates were posted to camps in Yishun, while I ended up in faraway Stagmont Camp. Or how I’ve escaped detention barracks (I don’t mean literally — you’re watching too much Prison Break!) even though I’ve got into a few accidents, which ended up either not seen, or covered up. Having said that, accidents = dents in vehicles lah, not as serious as it sounds. Although I nearly got implicated (and died) when a 5-tonne truck (yes, that big, hulking giant) reversed into my land rover, and the management wanted to put me in DB together with the driver. WTF?!
Anyway, I was reminded recently of one of the weirdest things to ever happen while I was in NS lah. It happened in the early weeks of my posting to Stagmont Camp. I was one of the newer batch of drivers, and there weren’t any more beds in the “driver’s bunk” for a few of us, so we had to shift to a deserted level in a horridly dusty bunk. So there were 3 guys staying in one huge bunk, and one hell of a lazy piece of shit who regularly threw tissue paper into the urinal and nearly got beaten up for that (not me,) so you can imagine we didn’t really bother cleaning up the place much lah.
So one fine day, the bunk got deserted because we were at work. So we had to lock the darn room, close the windows and everything. The only opening was the tiny row of windows right at the top of the wall. You know, those kind for ventilation, and in any case no one would bother closing it? Well, guess what? An effing crow decided to pay a visit to our bunk through those tiny windows, and when the stinking bugger decided to leave, it obviously couldn’t find its way out. Yes, the bird brain took all the trouble to find our humble abode, but simply didn’t have the brains to go out the way it did. So I guess the darn bird got scared and all, because it was in a horribly dusty environment (I reckon they have some standards too lah) and couldn’t find a way out. So what do birds do when they get scared?
Well, I don’t think they cry, but they certainly do like to fly all over and shit all over the place.
Not surprising them that I woke up in perspiration a week ago, after dreaming that a crow was in my room. I was horrified at the thought of having to disinfect my entire room. No shit.